Sex in a Cave: I’m Not Being Metaphorical

So I finally got in enough time to finish the next book on my list. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy but when things slow down I may just have super awesome news. I’m not going to say what just yet because I don’t want to jinx it but I’m crossing my fingers. I’ve decided to tweak my review process a little bit after reading through reviews on other sites and getting feedback on my own. The Plot section of my reviews will now be significantly shorter and far more vague so I don’t give too much away. I’ll still include spoiler warnings if there is risk of it but I think the threat has been downsized with this decision. With that said here is my first review trying out the new style.

 

Title: Ravished- I’m not a fan of this title. While the word ‘Ravished’ was used and the subject discussed it wasn’t to the point of earning the title. I would’ve gone with something more clever and lighthearted like ‘Set In Stone’ which ties in with the plot much better and carries a double meaning.

Author: Amanda Quick- It’s funny because her books aren’t a quick read.

Cover: The outer cover is the same old same old. Petal pink in nauseating amounts with pretty font and an item on the cover that has nothing to do with the story. Today’s trinket is a pink and lacy handkerchief. At least the title is bigger than the author’s name for a change.

But then we get to the real treat. The inner cover is something special and exactly what I’ve been waiting for. It’s like snark central and I was absolutely giddy to go over it in detail. There’s so much to it that I have to break it down into bits. Take a gander at this work of art:

What They Got Right:

  • The background setting of a cliff side manor along the ocean is indeed a location in the story. The cliffs house deep caves and the ocean tides play a part as well.
  • The big pile of treasure was in the story. I don’t think it was described as having so much lens flare but it works.
  • The scuffle between the hero and an armed guy in the lower left corner happened… But it looks like they came out of the heroine’s ass.

What They Screwed Up:

  • I’m assuming that the woman is supposed to be the heroine but it is quite possible that I’m wrong. She has flowers woven into her hair, something that this story’s heroine would be likely not to do since she’d find it frivolous.
  • Anyone else thing she looks stoned? Her expression says to me ‘I have a case of the munchies. Anyone got a plate of brownies?’
  • I’m lead to believe that the rugged looking male is the hero but he’s missing something. Something important… What was it again? Oh yeah! The disfiguring facial scar that helps shape his character. Yeah, where is that?
  • His hair is way too pretty. Granted, it’s not the typical romance mullet but now he just looks like a Pantene Pro-V model.
  • Why is the heroine dressed in Spanish flamenco garb? This is set in historical England.
  • In the little passion scene the heroine looks like her neck is broken.
  • The hero looks like he’s gone vampire on her. That might explain the broken neck.
  • I spy a side boob.
  • And a leg jutting out from the skirt.
  • The hero is shirtless instead of wearing the unbuttoned but still tucked in top. I’d say this was a good thing except that his exposed muscles look freakish.
  • Did his hair change lengths? In the stand alone mug shot it’s a little longer and thicker than in the passion scene.
  • OH MY GOD THE MOON IS CRASHING INTO THE EARTH!!! Seriously, look at how huge the moon is!

Summary/Back Cover:

“There was no doubt about it. What Miss Harriet Pomeroy needed was a man. Someone powerful and clever who could help her rout the unscrupulous thieves who were using her beloved caves to hide their loot. But when Harriet summoned Gideon Westbrook, Viscount St. Justin, to her aid, she could not know that she was summoning the devil himself…

Dubbed the Beast of Blackthorne Hall for his scarred face and lecherous past, Gideon was strong and fierce and notoriously menacing. Yet Harriet could not find it in her heart to fear him. For in his tawny gaze she sensed a savage pain she longed to soothe… and a searing passion she yearned to answer. Now, caught up in the beast’s clutches, Harriet must find a way to win his heart- and evade the deadly trap of a scheming villain who would see them parted for all time.”

This was actually a good summary in my opinion. The prose was a bit flowery but it’s a romance novel so cheese is permissible to an extent. Still… You have no idea how hard it is not to laugh every time Harriet’s caves are discussed. I know it’s juvenile but I can’t help myself. It’s funny. She’s very passionate about her caves. *snort*

Plot: Pretty much Harriet is a fossil hunter that hangs out in the caves by her home. One day she finds that some jerks are hiding stolen goods in her caves. *snort* She doesn’t like people trespassing when she knows for a fact there are fossils to be found there. So she contacts the man in charge and he comes to find out why some nerd is bossing him around in a letter.

She barely knows a thing about him, having avoided gossip, but learns he has a shady past. She just chooses to ignore the rumors and judge for herself. He’s helping her, after all. As they deal with the issue of the caves being used to stash loot the two get closer and one incident has them getting a little TOO close.

Gideon does the honorable thing and proposes even though Harriet is perfectly fine having been a booty call. Still she concedes and more shenanigans ensue. They both have to deal with the toll Gideon’s shameful past takes on them and it leads to many misunderstandings, some funny and some sad.

In the meantime they have to solve the mystery of the cave robbers, deal with gossip during their courtship, and find the time and strength to fall in love.

Believe It Or Not: No. This is just not a plausible plot in regards to the time period and events. It doesn’t make it bad, it’s just obviously fantasy. Too much happened that just had no way of playing out the way it did.

Setting: Regency England… Which I did research on! Turns out I was right and there were no cars or cell phones. The setting is right, although reality is a bit stretched. Also… Caves are not sexy.

Sensuality: The sex scenes were okay but I do have one huge gripe. The first time they do it is in a cave. They get trapped by the tide overnight in a cave and apparently urges couldn’t be repressed. It is a cave. A crab was described scuttling over Harriet’s foot earlier. It is cold and damp and they are laying on empty cloth bags on the rocky wet ground… No. Just not a believable setup for nookie. MAYBE a make out session and cuddling for warmth but not hanky panky. Meanwhile Harriet is in love WAY too fast. It’s like she blinked and suddenly she was in love. Gideon was stubborn about it and waited until the end of the book for his epiphany but it didn’t stop him from sexing her up and marrying her. You’d think those would be clues. They had sweet moments and a few realistic couple moments but overall it felt either rushed or contrived.

Hero: Gideon was okay. He came off as fairly condescending but when you take into account what he had to deal with it is understandable. I liked that since people already thought the worst of him he stopped bothering to try to prove them wrong after a while and just stopped caring. He wasn’t afraid to make trouble since it already hung around. But then at every turn he’d do something that showed he missed being in society’s good graces. It was kind of pathetic in a charming sort of way. I liked him but I didn’t love him.

Heroine: I was halfway tempted to write Harriet off as too stupid to live several times but she’d make amends for her dumbass moments. She is smart in that she collects fossils, is good with reading people, and she doesn’t buy into hype. But then she goes and acts like a friggin moron here and there. She wanders off to the caves when a sting operation is in progress and gets herself caught. She practically lets herself be kidnapped by well-meaning associates. She gets trapped in a basement room with a very bad man. I mean come on, woman! A little self-preservation would be nice. She was an okay heroine. She had pluck and brains and if it weren’t for her brain farts I’d like her much more.

Themes: Beauty and the Beast, historical, scarred hero, plain heroine, regency

Length: 385 pages. This was an okay length for an okay book. I’m not sure adding or taking away any amount would’ve changed much.

Overall: On a whole I find this book to be okay. It’s not perfect but it’s not horrible. I’d suggest reading it if you have reached a lull in books that you want to read right away. The story is cute but a bit choppy and the characters aren’t exactly stand out. It’s worth a read but probably not a re-read. Still, give it a chance on a rainy day.

Note: I’m going to keep reading and reviewing every chance I can get but things probably wont get to be steady again until next month. I know the delay sucks (it’s no picnic for me either) but I’ll get back on track ASAP. Thanks for understanding.

Images are property of Amazon.com. I take no credit for them nor for the book they are of.

1 Comment »

  1. BlueQuartzFoxy Said:

    I suppose this is the first of the so-so books you’ve encountered. Well two out of three ain’t bad, plus the inside cover gave you something to snark about!

    I am a bit disappointed that we won’t get a play-by-play anymore, but hey I’ve got to want to buy the book to know all the ins-and-outs, thus you are doing your job as a reviewer. Yes/Yes?


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